⭕️ How To Say No

plus opportunities from UN, Google, etc

Ziyaan Virji
May 27, 2025

Hey friend,

If you’re anything like me, saying "no" can feel super awkward. We say yes because we don’t want to let people down, miss out on opportunities, or be seen as ungrateful. But here’s the truth:

Every time you say yes to something, you’re saying no to something else.

And sometimes, that "something else" is your mental health, your purpose, or your priorities.

This week’s deep dive is on a skill I wish someone taught me earlier: how to say no.

Let’s get into it…

read time: 4 mins

Opportunities This Week

If you’re looking for more opportunities, check out our living document of 25+ opportunities here

I have partnered up with my friends at Plan Canada to share with you an amazing opportunity. If you or someone you know is a young changemaker actively working to tackle challenges in health equity, health system resilience, biodiversity and climate action, this is for you. As part of the Eureka Fellowship, you will get access to:

a 10,000 grant to support each Eureka Fellow’s work
leadership development with  mentorship and skill-building
attend a fully funded in-person Summit in 2026
and so much more

Why Saying "No" is a Superpower

Warren Buffett said, "The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything."

Let that sink in.

Saying no isn’t about being rude or lazy. It’s about:

Protecting your time
Prioritizing what actually matters
Creating space for better opportunities

The most successful people don’t say yes to more things. They say yes to fewer, better things.

What Makes Saying No So Hard?

If you’ve ever:

Felt guilty turning down a request
Agreed to something and regretted it 5 mins later
Said yes out of fear of missing out (FOMO)

...you’re not alone.

Some of the biggest reasons we struggle to say no:

People pleasing: We don’t want to disappoint anyone
Imposter syndrome: We feel we have to prove ourselves by taking on more
FOMO: We’re scared we’ll miss out on something big
Fear of judgment: We don’t want to be seen as difficult or ungrateful

But here’s what I’ve learned:

"Choose discomfort over resentment." — Brené Brown

A little awkwardness now is better than months of burnout and regret.

How to Say No (Without Burning Bridges)

Saying no is a skill. And like any skill, it gets easier the more you practice. Here are 5 go-to strategies I use:

1. The "Affirm-Thank-Decline" Formula

Affirm the relationship: "I really appreciate you thinking of me."
Thank them: "It means a lot that you reached out."
Decline: "But I won’t be able to commit to this right now."

Example:

"Hey [Name], thanks so much for reaching out—I’m truly honoured you thought of me. At the moment, I’m at capacity and wouldn’t be able to give this the attention it deserves. I hope it goes really well and please keep me in the loop for future opportunities."

2. The "Yes-No-Yes" Technique (by William Ury)

Yes to your priorities
No to the request
Yes to the relationship

Example:

"This sounds like a great initiative and I’m cheering you on. Right now, I’m focusing on [X priority] and can’t take on anything else. But let’s stay in touch—I’d love to support in a different way when the timing is right."

3. Delay the Decision

If you’re caught off guard, buy time:

"Let me check my schedule and get back to you by tomorrow." This gives you space to make a calm, intentional choice.

4. Offer an Alternative

You can say no and still be helpful:

"I can’t take this on, but [Name] might be a great person to connect with. Want me to introduce you?"

5. Set Boundaries Proactively

Don’t wait for the ask. Make your priorities clear in advance:

"I don’t take meetings on Fridays to preserve focus time. Let’s try another day."

Things You Can Literally Say

Here are a few scripts for different situations:

Declining a new project:

"Thank you for thinking of me! I’m currently at capacity and wouldn’t be able to do this justice.

Turning down a meeting with no agenda:

"Happy to chat—do you mind sharing the purpose and goals first so I can prep accordingly?

Saying no to a social event:

"Appreciate the invite! I’m taking the evening to recharge but I hope it’s a great time."

Last-minute non-urgent request:

"Unfortunately I can’t turn this around on short notice. Can we revisit next week?"

Decision-Making Frameworks

Before saying yes to anything, ask:

The Hell Yeah Test (Derek Sivers): If it’s not a HELL YES, it’s a no.
Regret Minimization Framework (Jeff Bezos): Will I regret not doing this in 10 years? If yes, consider saying yes.
The Relief Test (Christine Carter): Imagine this event is tomorrow. Would you feel relieved if it got cancelled? If yes, say no today.

My friend, I hope this gave you the tools to protect your time and prioritize what matters most to you. If this resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you: what’s something you recently said no to? Or something you wish you had? I try my best to reply to every message from our community.

Also quick one, just wanted to remind you of my goal of having my TEDx talk viral (see last week’s newsletter for context). We are now 17 days from launch date and almost 200 people from our community have joined the inner circle. It would mean the world to have you join as well (our goal is to hit 1000 people by launch date).

Sending you love from Toronto my friend,