⭕️ How To Say No

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Hey friend,

If you’re anything like me, saying "no" can feel super awkward. We say yes because we don’t want to let people down, miss out on opportunities, or be seen as ungrateful. But here’s the truth:

Every time you say yes to something, you’re saying no to something else.

And sometimes, that "something else" is your mental health, your purpose, or your priorities.

This week’s deep dive is on a skill I wish someone taught me earlier: how to say no.

Let’s get into it…

read time: 4 mins

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Why Saying "No" is a Superpower

Warren Buffett said, "The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything."

Let that sink in.

Saying no isn’t about being rude or lazy. It’s about:

• Protecting your time

• Prioritizing what actually matters

• Creating space for better opportunities

The most successful people don’t say yes to more things. They say yes to fewer, better things.

What Makes Saying No So Hard?

If you’ve ever:

• Felt guilty turning down a request

• Agreed to something and regretted it 5 mins later

• Said yes out of fear of missing out (FOMO)

...you’re not alone.

Some of the biggest reasons we struggle to say no:

• People pleasing: We don’t want to disappoint anyone

• Imposter syndrome: We feel we have to prove ourselves by taking on more

• FOMO: We’re scared we’ll miss out on something big

• Fear of judgment: We don’t want to be seen as difficult or ungrateful

But here’s what I’ve learned:

A little awkwardness now is better than months of burnout and regret.

How to Say No (Without Burning Bridges)

Saying no is a skill. And like any skill, it gets easier the more you practice. Here are 5 go-to strategies I use:

1. The "Affirm-Thank-Decline" Formula

• Affirm the relationship: "I really appreciate you thinking of me."

• Thank them: "It means a lot that you reached out."

• Decline: "But I won’t be able to commit to this right now."

Example:

2. The "Yes-No-Yes" Technique (by William Ury)

• Yes to your priorities

• No to the request

• Yes to the relationship

Example:

3. Delay the Decision

If you’re caught off guard, buy time:

4. Offer an Alternative

You can say no and still be helpful:

5. Set Boundaries Proactively

Don’t wait for the ask. Make your priorities clear in advance:

Things You Can Literally Say

Here are a few scripts for different situations:

Decision-Making Frameworks

Before saying yes to anything, ask:

• The Hell Yeah Test (Derek Sivers): If it’s not a HELL YES, it’s a no.

• Regret Minimization Framework (Jeff Bezos): Will I regret not doing this in 10 years? If yes, consider saying yes.

• The Relief Test (Christine Carter): Imagine this event is tomorrow. Would you feel relieved if it got cancelled? If yes, say no today.

My friend, I hope this gave you the tools to protect your time and prioritize what matters most to you. If this resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you: what’s something you recently said no to? Or something you wish you had? I try my best to reply to every message from our community.

Also quick one, just wanted to remind you of my goal of having my TEDx talk viral (see last week’s newsletter for context). We are now 17 days from launch date and almost 200 people from our community have joined the inner circle. It would mean the world to have you join as well (our goal is to hit 1000 people by launch date).

Sending you love from Toronto my friend,

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